In the United States, more than 90 percent of people get married by the time they turn 50 years old. Of first marriages, 40 to 50 percent end in a divorce. If you or your spouse has decided to file for divorce and you start working with our Bergen County divorce lawyers, you may be concerned about how to inform your family and friends about this big change in your life.
Share the News With Children, Parents and Siblings First
When possible, break the news of a divorce to your children, parents and siblings in person. An ideal way would be for you and your soon-to-be ex to share the news together. When you cannot share the news together, plan a visit without any pretext. Simply tell your parent, child, brother or sister that you have something important to share and that you would like to do it in person. When your family members are too far away to tell them in person, make a call. Ask them if it is a good time because you have some important news you need to tell them. If your family member is rushed, tired or in the middle of something, ask when a good time would be to have an extended conversation.
Tell Your Closest Friends in Person
Many people have an extended social network that includes family, close friends, casual friends, acquaintances and people they only know on social media. When going through a divorce, you will need to rely on your social network for strength and support. Telling your closest friends right after telling your immediate family helps provide you with comfort and courage to face the stress of a divorce. It is best to tell your friends in person rather than sending a text or an email. Call your friend and ask to meet for coffee or a walk. Sharing your news in person allows you to connect with your friend in a more personal way.
Talk to Extended Family Members
If you have aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces or nephews with whom you are close, you may also want to share your life-changing event with them. A family event such as a dinner you organize at your home could allow you to share the news once and be done with it. When it is not possible to convene all of these people, call them as you have time. In many families, once one aunt or cousin is made aware of such news, the word will spread throughout the rest of the extended family. When you do not have an especially close relationship with extended family, you could simply include your news in your end-of-the-year letter or holiday greeting card. If you will be moving or changing your name or contact information, you could send out the change of address and include on the note that you are getting divorced.
Inform Co-Workers and Casual Acquaintances
You may need to tell your boss or manager about your divorce, especially if you will be missing time from work. You have no obligation to inform co-workers of a divorce, but you may want to at some point. Your human resources department will need to know because of administrative reasons, such as changes to your tax withholding, insurance and other benefits. Telling casual acquaintances is a low priority, and you need not stress yourself over informing people in your yoga class or golf league.
Update Your Service Providers and Medical Professionals
Two groups of people often overlooked in sharing the news of a divorce are your service providers and medical professionals. Service providers such as your housekeeper, nanny and landscaper should be told early in the process, especially if your service needs will change. They should also be informed of which partner will leave the house and whether that person will have access to the property after the divorce. Informing your medical professionals is also important. Divorce is stressful, and stress has consequences on your health and well-being. You may also need to update them about changes in your health insurance benefits that are a direct result of your divorce.
When you need a Bergen County divorce lawyer in Hackensack, we are here to help. Call us at the Law Offices of Kelly Berton Rocco at 201-343-0078 to learn more or schedule an appointment.