Common Reasons for a Divorce in New Jersey
Reasons for a New Jersey Divorce
Unfortunately, divorce is common in the United States. It is estimated that about 50% of marriages end in divorce, although some observers have disputed that figure. Nevertheless, many couples experience issues that can lead to a dissolution of the union.
Why Choose to Divorce?
There are some reasons why partners might seek a divorce. Often, underlying circumstances have people heading to a divorce attorney, but most of these issues don’t arise overnight. In some situations, the two individuals feel that they have reached the end of the relationship and have decided to go separate ways. Here are some of the common reasons for a divorce in New Jersey.
When couples take their vows, they commit to each other. However, when a person goes outside of the union for a sexual or emotional relationship, it can be difficult to heal the marriage. These extramarital affairs are one of the top reasons for divorces. Often, when one spouse finds out that the other one has committed adultery, it can understandably create feelings of resentment and anger.
As opposed to a physical relationship, many married people engage in an emotional affair. With that, one spouse becomes emotionally close to another person but does not actually physically cheat on their partner. However, strong feelings may develop, and to the other partner, it’s still cheating even if nothing physical happened.
Even though marriages are ideally based on love, money is one reason for heading to a divorce. Couples need to be on the same page about financial matters. Otherwise, that can lead to fighting and other problems. Additionally, the two individuals need to be financially compatible–they must have the same goals with their money. If one person spends too much money while the other is frugal, it can lead to marital problems. Some of these financial issues can include:
- Incurring too much debt
- Not sticking to a budget
- Making poor investments
- Hiding financial problems
Couples with different financial goals or spending habits could experience a power struggle, which can bring the marriage to a breaking point. Also, the differences in how much each partner brings into the marriage can cause a rift in the relationship.
Lack of Communication
Both partners need to practice open communication. When couples cannot do so, this can lead to frustration and resentment. Good communication is the foundation for a strong marriage. With that, the partners need to understand and meet the needs of each other.
Yelling is not a healthy way to communicate. When one spouse does not feel like they are appreciated or heard, they will have the same argument repeatedly. Many people find it hard to see the other person’s point of view, leading to more disagreements without a resolution. Often, the spouses will cease all communication. As a result, when couples stop talking, that leads to feelings of loneliness and isolation, making the partners stop caring about each other.
Lack of Intimacy
When someone does not feel connected to their partner, it can ruin a marriage. Those distant feelings will cause a lack of emotional or physical intimacy in the relationship. Lack of intimacy is not always related to sex. If one spouse is constantly cold to the other, it can become grounds for a divorce.
Over the course of a marriage, couples will struggle with different sexual appetites and drives. At various stages in life, those needs can change, leading to feelings of rejection or confusion for the other partner. Ignoring a partner is a top cause of divorce. Devoting time to a relationship is the responsibility of both spouses. When couples appreciate and enjoy physical intimacy, they can strengthen the bonds of the marriage.
Lack of Equality
Along with a lack of intimacy, inequality can also cause problems in the marriage. When one person takes on more responsibility than the other in the union, it often leads to feelings of resentment and changes their views of the other person. One spouse might deem their partner as lazy or ungrateful, which is never a good sign for a marriage.
Resentment is not a healthy emotion. If those feelings are not resolved, they will snowball in the marriage. This lack of equality is a common cause of divorce. During the marriage, couples must be able to work together as equals so that they can enjoy a harmonious and respectful relationship.
Not Prepared for Marriage
While many people now marry later in life, age can still play a role in a divorce. If the couples are mismatched, it can create issues between them. Along with that, many individuals are not prepared for married life, leading to the demise of their relationship. Younger couples have some of the highest divorce rates, with a lack of preparation being the common cause for a divorce. In most situations, almost half of the divorces occur in the first 10 years of the marriage.
Unrealistic expectations can also affect the relationship. If a person has lofty goals for their partner, it can also lead to feelings of resentment if those goals don’t come to fruition. Those expectations can strain the marriage, laying the groundwork for a divorce.
Physical and Emotional Abuse
No one should tolerate any type of abuse, and the partners must remove themselves from that relationship. Domestic abuse is a common occurrence for some couples. Many people are afraid to leave the marriage, but the problems will just continue if no one takes action. Ending the relationship is the only solution to these issues.
In some cases, serious emotional issues can affect the marriage. Even with counseling, the partners cannot resolve these differences. When a person’s health, safety, and life are at risk, it is time to leave the relationship. When someone engages in physical abuse, the sanctity of marriage is damaged. Along with physical abuse, there are also cases of emotional abuse in marriages. These can include:
- Name calling
- Making inappropriate comments
- Causing a lack of self-esteem
Over time, the physical and emotional abuse can escalate. Once those boundaries have been crossed in the marriage, it can be challenging to repair those bonds. In many cases, the only resolution is to end the marriage. While many believe that only women can experience this type of abuse, men are also victims of physical and emotional abuse.
Choosing to End the Marriage
While many couples try to work through their issues, there are times when it is better to walk away from the marriage. Some relationships are just too toxic, and divorce is the only solution. It may seem sad to end their union, but it can be better for both individuals to go their separate ways.
Find a Divorce Attorney in New Jersey
If you have reached the end of your marriage, it may be time to consider a divorce. The legal team at the Law Offices of Kelly Berton Rocco may be able to help answer those questions about the divorce process. You can call our office in Hackensack at (201) 343-0078 or visit our website to schedule a consultation.