For many people, the period of time after a divorce is one of great change, often full of activity. There can be a lot of reasons for that. It may be a way to distract yourself from the painful emotions that come with divorce. You may feel a tremendous sense of freedom and a desire to do things you haven’t done for years. But if you want to ensure that you won’t be back in the same situation in a few years, there are some steps you should take, to help you move toward a happy and productive life.
- Face your grief—Regardless of how difficult your marriage was, you have still lost something. Be willing to take the time to both acknowledge and feel your loss. That’s best done by yourself or with family—anyone with whom you won’t be tempted to develop an intimate relationship, as you may (subconsciously, perhaps) try to fill the void left by your ex-spouse.
- Keep it simple—It can be tempting to pack it all in, sell everything and move to Tahiti. But that’s probably not in your best interests. It’s a good thing to minimize the distractions in your life, so that you can get a strong sense of who you are and what you want to do with the rest of your life. Be confident in yourself before you make any major changes.
- Let the past go—It’s easier said than done, but the reality is that you can’t change it. You can, however, choose how much it will limit you, how much it will define you. Don’t ignore it, but learn from it, rather than being controlled by it.
- Be willing to trust—Trust can be hard in the aftermath of a divorce, but it’s ultimately a choice and a two-way street. When you can’t trust others, they’ll have a hard time trusting you. Life is about risks—but learn from your choices.
- Seek professional help when necessary
To schedule a free, 30 minute telephone consultation to discuss your concerns, send us an e-mail or call our office at 201-343-0078. All calls and e-mails are returned within 24 hours. We’ll be at your side every step of the way