Getting Through the Holidays When You Are Divorced
It’s that time of year—Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years—when the tradition is to be with family. But what if your family is fractured, the casualty of a divorce? How can you make the holidays a positive experience for everyone, including your children? Here are some tips:
- Talk about the holidays in advance and agree on a plan—Problems often arise when there are unconfirmed assumptions. Take the time to communicate with your ex and try to work out arrangements that are in the best interests of your children and give you meaningful time as a parent. Be willing to compromise, but only if it’s in everyone’s best interests. When you’ve formulated a plan, communicate it to your children, so they know exactly what to expect.
- Don’t make the holidays a contest—The parent who buys the biggest gift is not the winner!! Don’t try to outdo your ex—time spent with your children is ultimately more meaningful that any gift you could give.
- Always put your children’s needs first—You are an adult and you have better coping mechanisms for loss and absence. Your children will more acutely feel the pain of not seeing or spending time with grandparents, aunts, uncles and other important people. Let go of hard feelings for the benefit of your children.
- Be willing to change—You may have a plan A that has to become a Plan B, whether due to illness, weather or other concerns. Strive to be cooperative without be complacent, engaged without being demanding.
To schedule a free, 30 minute telephone consultation to discuss your concerns, send us an e-mail or call our office at 201-343-0078. All calls and e-mails are returned within 24 hours. We’ll be at your side every step of the way