Find Ways to Recover From a Divorce
Steps To Heal After a Divorce
Divorce can be an emotional and complicated process, especially when there is a court battle. Planning for the future, determining your finances and learning to co-parent can be stressful for anyone. These tips can help you move to that next stage of your life.
Be Kind to Yourself
Unfortunately, divorces can leave you with mixed emotions. Often, people feel like they have failed. Some individuals don’t know how they should feel during this time. In many cases, a person may need time to grieve for the former relationship. There are no right or wrong feelings about what someone should feel about their divorce. Whatever emotions you have about the situation, they are valid. Many people might have guilt about being emotional. Remember, don’t be hard on yourself. It is a normal part of the healing process.
Some research has shown that those individuals with self-compassion can better handle the separation. Understanding and caring for yourself can go a long way to helping yourself heal after a divorce.
Over the years, divorce has become less stigmatized. While you could see the marriage ending as a failure, that can harm your emotional health, making it harder to move on with your life. Don’t view divorce as a failure, but rather a union that no longer benefits both parties.
With a little perspective, be kind to yourself. Instead of mourning those happy moments, consider your marriage an opportunity that has helped you grow as a person. During this time, you may work through different stages of grief, including:
Feeling sadness, depression, fear and anxiety are all normal after a divorce. However, you need to find a level of acceptance to help move forward in your life.
Take Time to Say Goodbye
Many people will need time to grieve for the end of their marriage. After all, a divorce ends a massive part of your life. If you are on good terms with your ex-spouse, take time to sit together and talk about the good and bad aspects of your relationship. With that, you can have finality to the marriage. Every relationship is different. If the divorce proceedings were hostile, that option might not be feasible. Some circumstances do not allow you to discuss your relationship with your ex-spouse.
When the marriage ends, you don’t have to deal with those negative aspects, such as betrayal, lying and infidelity. You can move forward without dealing with the bad parts of your past union. Do not forget to think about all of the kind and good moments of the marriage, as well. Keep in mind that processing a divorce is a deep and emotional journey.
Keep All Interactions Positive
Unfortunately, some divorces can become nasty. Keeping a positive environment can help maintain a good mindset. Plus, if you have children from the marriage, you don’t want any hostilities with the other parent.
Children exposed to parental conflicts are at risk for social and psychological problems. Along with that, high-stress levels can make it difficult for you to get through the divorce process.
You might want to work with a divorce attorney about finding ways to keep the combativeness out of the process. Sometimes, a third-party mediator might have to be hired to help make decisions surrounding the divorce.
Have a Circle of Support
Divorce is an emotional time for anyone. It is vital to have friends or family members who can offer a bit of emotional support. These individuals can help you through the difficult moments of separation. Also, they may even act like a sounding board as you ponder critical decisions.
Today, it can be easy to overshare details about your life, especially on social media. While you may need to vent, it can hurt you in the long run. Once a post is published, it is available for the rest of the world to read and see. If you say something hurtful about your ex-spouse, it can put added stress on the relationship. In some cases, you may still need to be cordial with the other parent to make decisions about the children.
Think About Finances
In many cases, you will probably see a loss of income. Before you sign off on any document, it could be a good idea to talk to your divorce lawyer. You need to understand if you will receive alimony from the settlement. If you need to pay your ex-spouse, you must also understand what finances will be involved with that agreement. Talking to a financial planner may help you get your affairs in order and can ease that stress. Finances should not add another burden to your recovery process.
Get Legal Support
While you may want to avoid going to court, reaching out to a divorce attorney may help determine your next legal step. An attorney should handle issues with child custody and property division. With that, you may be able to have a more favorable outcome with the divorce settlement. In some cases, having an attorney could give you some legal peace of mind when it comes time to end the marriage.
Take a Break
Some newly single individuals want to get right back into the dating pool. However, there is no rush to find a new partner. You can take this time to develop your own interests or learn more about yourself. When marriages start to fail, many partners will sacrifice their own well-being to make the other person happy. Now that you are free from that burden, do not rush into another relationship. If you don’t heal emotionally, you could have the same problems with a different person.
Children should also be considered. They need their own time to deal with the consequences of the divorce. Remember, they might have to live in another home or only see one parent on an infrequent basis. If you introduce a new person into their lives, they can often feel confused and angry. Give them time to sort out their feelings before introducing someone new into the family dynamic.
Today, there are many divorce support groups. With these groups, you can find other individuals who may be experiencing the different stages of a divorce. These groups can help you go through the various stages of the process. If you cannot find the right group setting, consider working with a therapist to help understand your emotions or get advice about how to heal from the process. Sometimes, you need guidance and support to get to the next stages of your life. You should never be afraid to ask for help. Remember, you are not alone. Plenty of divorced individuals seek therapy or group counseling to help them resolve any issues from the previous relationship.
Contact a New Jersey Divorce Lawyer Today
Many troubled marriages do end up in a courtroom. You should never see that as a failure of your character. Sometimes, people are not compatible and cannot work together in a marriage. If you feel it is time to end the union, reach out to the Law Office of Kelly Berton Rocco. Our legal team can help answer those questions about the divorce process. Please call our office in Hackensack at 201-343-0078 or fill out our online form to schedule a consultation.